ChowBaby

when i was growing up in rural pennsylvania, people didn't talk about their kids' social skills. but they did talk about manners. like respect your elders. say please pass the scrapple. and always thank mr. smith for giving you a ride home from field hockey practice.
 
as i got older and started thinking about starting my own family, i began noticing how parents did (and didn't!) teach their kids manners. and, like most parents-to-be, i took mental notes. about the things i wanted to do with my own kids. and the things i NEVER wanted to do with my own kids. (of course, i later realized that a lot of my parenting plans have nothing to do with actually being a parent. yes, even MY little pumpkin would one day have a meltdown on a busy sidewalk because he just needed to scream and throw himself on the ground and i would walk ahead of him and say "well, i'm going home and i'd like you to come with me so i'll start walking and you catch up." nope, not how i pictured motherhood at all.)
 
anyway, the manners thing? that's one that i was committed to both before AND after becoming a parent. my husband and i started teaching "please" and "thank you" when atticus was preverbal and using sign language. and we kept at it when he stared speaking. even after the millionth time he said, "i want water" and i followed it up with "i want water pleeeeeease." we've found mealtime to be the perfect opportunity to reinforce good manners. now, atticus orders "sticky rice, please" and "please i want dumplings." he says, "thanks, mama" when i hand him his napkin to put on his lap. he doesn't throw his food on the floor at restaurants because he knows it's "not nice" to the people who work there. and each night at dinner, we practice listening by taking turns telling stories about our day—whoever has the mouth (a picture of a mouth, not a real mouth!) talks while everyone else listens. without interrupting. and when i say, "we practice listening," i don't just mean atticus. because we all need a little refresher in good manners. and by trying to set a good example for our son, my husband and i find ourselves with better manners ourselves. read more about kids and manners in the most emailed article from today's New York Times.

thank you very much.

--m